Arrrrrrr Matie,
Ok so this is what you do:
1. Go to any computer store with apple computers.
2. Open the Stickies application
3. Type in whatever the hell you want.
4. Open garage band
5. Start recording
6. Select the text in the Stickies app and control click
7. Select speak text
8. Stop recording in garage band
9. Select just the part where there is the speech
10. Click the loop button and play
11. Place a piece of tape underneath the mouse so it wont work
12. Turn up the volume to 100%
13. Leg it!