Timo Sutton

The free online game America's Army apparently is doing very well for itself. So well in fact, that it has received a major graphics overhaul and been re-dubbed America's Army: True Soldiers. Still touted as "an official U.S. Army game, it is being released on the XBox360 this October.

I had to think for awhile as to why my instinct was to say this is a horrible thing (other than obvious reasons such as the glorification of war to a degree unheard of until now) and then I realized. This entire game is a product placement. You are expected (and I'm sure people will) to shell out $60 to essentially play an interactive advertisement. All of the links and ads for the U.S. Army remain intact in this new version.

When it was free this didn't bother me so much. If a person opted to play this game he/she knew that it would be rife with ads. Much like public television, you put up with ads and such because you know it is a necessary evil for tv stations to make money. It kept free television free. The original idea behind cable (which was quickly abandoned out of sheer greed) was that if the customer payed for television they would not have to put up with ads.

Product placement in games always rubs me the wrong way but games that are NOTHING but product placement really drive me crazy. Sure one can argue that movie tie-in games are just as bad. And I would be prone to agree, much like product placement, these games tend to be poorly designed, often times ripping off an existing game, painful to play and unrewarding to complete. Don't believe me? Remember these gems?

Cool Spot

This game was made for the SNES in 1993. A simpler time when advertisers believed that if you put sunglasses on anything it would become a "cool" mascot. How about this for product placement? The cool spot actually shot it's enemies with bursts of 7-up. So are you saying this soda is refreshing on a lethal level? Somehow this overly difficult game did just well enough to garner a sequel. Thankfully the sequel provided ample nails for the coffin and the Cool Spot has been laid to rest ever since.

Yo! Noid!

What's better than a video game about soda? How about a game about pizza? This follows the Noid, Domino's old mascot which is supposed to be some sort of pizza hating creature. In this NES game (released in 1990) the Noid now loves pizza so much, he travels the globe having pizza eating contests and beating people with a yo-yo. Not only were the graphics sub-par for industry giant Capcom, but the game was incredibly difficult. This was due to the fact that it's game mechanics were taken from a Japanese game called Masked Ninja Hanamaru which was intended for an older audience. Needless to say this bomb did not sell well, despite coming with a $1 off coupon for a Domino's pizza.

Revolution X

I almost didn't include this game. The original arcade version was actually pretty fun (although I never could beat it) but the later console ports can be found on just about every "Worst Game Ever Made" list one can find. On a side note this was a time when advertisers had stopped putting sunglasses on everything and instead put the letter "X" at the end of every phrase. These guys could read youth culture like a book, huh? The entire point of this games was to show kids in 1994 that Aerosmith was still cool. So cool, in fact that when the government decides to ban all tv, music and video games (take that cynical youth!) the first thing they do is kidnap Aerosmith. The player then uses a special gun that shoots records (I'm guessing their albums were pretty cheap by then) in an effort to lead a teenage revolution to save the band and overthrow the government. Yea...

Sneak King

Just in case you thought the gaming industry had learned it's lesson. Burger King released not one, but a series of gaming available only through their stores for the XBox and XBox 360. Much like the Noid (I guess food chains all have the same thought process) these games blatantly rip-off existing game engines and slap the ever-creepy Burger King into all sorts of odd situations. This one has you sneaking around suburbia surprising people with their favorite Burger King sandwich. You too can be a stalker! But it's ok because you want to feed them.

To sum up. Product placement is always a paint o put up with. But no-one in their right mind should shell out hard-earned cash to expose themselves to something they are saturated with for free. If anyone here is interested in buying the new America's Army I will be happy to take your $60 and show you a loop-reel of U.S. Army ads until you pass out. No need to thank me, it'll be my pleasure.

More info on games covered here
America's Army: True Soldiers
Cool Spot
Yo! Noid!
Revolution X
Sneak King
All images used were scans or screenshots of games. These games are copyrighted and are owned by the game developers who made them. Although they probably won't want to admit it.

This 3-d first person game was released in 1996. The interesting thing about this game is it is one of the few first-person games out there that is not an action title. No FPS to be found here, rather it is a point-and-click adventure title.

The cover for Normality featuring the hero, Kent Knutson

I remember this game fondly, it came out when I was almost done with highschool and was fully in the throughs of angst and cynicism. The overall plot was a parody of our government and many conservative witch-hunting groups and their assertation that grunge and metal (much like every other music genre before them) was destroying our youth and that video games were only increasing our decent into hell.

It starts Kent Knutson, recent parole who was imprisoned for whistling a happy song while walking down the street. The game starts with Kent under house arrest, instructed to watch television until he becomes more complient. You see, the city of Neutropolis has a blanket ban on all things happy and individualistic. It forces the citizens to listen to music from the 1950's (a better time) and the only tv channel is a 24-broadcast of a man telling everyone how happy they are to live in Neutropolis (much like Half-Life 2). While in prison Kent gets wind of a rebel group (ie teenagers) who are bent on overthrowing the government and encouraging individuality in the citizens.

Players control the hero either by hotkeys or by using the Kent Voo-doo Doll, shown here.

Despite it being a pretty goofy parody, the game is actually quite hard. The puzzles and riddles require you to think like a member of this police-run government (a "normie") on your quest to find out exactly who is running the show.

This game pokes fun of just about every vice conservative groups have against music, video games, D&D, and pop culture on the mid-to-late 90's.

Have a normal day.

At first glance, not many people would consider "Shadow of the Colossus" to be a serious game. It is most definitely the stuff of fantasy, in both story and design. The introduction has the hero (named "Wander") carrying the lifeless body of his love into an abandoned temple. After placing her on an alter a disembodied voice promises to revive her if Wander defeats the sixteen colossi. These gigantic beasts inhabit an equally gigantic land that is supposedly forbidden to enter. Of course, Wander sets off and the game begins.

Despite a fairly generic plot, this game was the first to make me question the motives of the main character. In the end I did not want to "be" him anymore.

Two things strike me as reasons why this could be considered a "serious" game. First is it's design. The landscape Wander travels is more expansive than any game I have ever played before. At it's release one of the developers explained that the game encourages exploration. If a player just went from colossus to colossus, without exploring further, they would only see about 25% of the land created. It's almost like going on a vacation just popping this game in and exploring the land around you. Most games (especially lately) stick to a shorter play time by inhibiting where the player can go. In this would, if you see it, you can reach it.

The second, and more important is the plot and game-play. When you see the first of the colossus it's easy to just stand back and watch it roam. Early on, these giants ignore you completely. Which makes sense considering you are about the size of an ant compared to them. It's a little bittersweet as you make your way up these creatures (who begin to fight back. and hard.) and kill them one by one. These things aren't "evil". They aren't terrorizing anyone. They simply exist in their own areas, content to live. So why exactly are you killing them? To get your girlfriend back. Is she some chosen one needed to save humanity? No. Is she a powerful leader whose death has caused civil war? No. She's an ordinary person, just like the hero, whose death had just as much of an impact on the world as her life did. And now you're going about killing these amazing creatures, just to get her back. Never have I seen such a selfish story-line. The hero of the game really seems unfitting for the title. By the end of the game I no longer wanted to have him as an avatar. Every time a colossus died (and man, they scream in pain as they collapse to the ground. Their bodies do not dissapear, like a sort of reminder of your actions) I felt bad. I ended up spending more time exploring the land than killing the beasts.

Another one down

This game relays it's message in an extremely subtle way. There is very little dialogue. The player is left to make these realizations on their own. It's a surprisingly strong lesson in the fluidity of "good" and "evil". Like the early colonists, the player takes advantage of an unspoiled land, stripping it of its resources for nothing more than personal gain.

I won't be suprised if noone here knows who Yahtzee is. His reviews are one of those things that you just stumble upon. Yahtzee reviews popular games for the online magazine The Escapist and I discovered him not too long after the realease of Halo 3.

I am a member of a forum called Fandom Wank, a site dedicated to finding all of those wonderful dramatic arguments and bits of drama that pop up on fan-sites. People document and link these little gems for our viewing pleasure. Check out the archives to see if something you love has been sodden with wank.

Anyway, recently someone posted a link to Yahtzee's most recent review of Halo 3. Yahtzee trashes the game in a wonderful little Flash review (see below: kinda not work safe due to language) and the fans go nuts. Tearful pleading for Yahtzee to give the game another chace are paired with accusations that his accent is fake in a ploy to "discredit British gamers everywhere". Wonderful stuff, so I thought I would link the review here. Enjoy.

When trying to think of a serious game it seemed natural to learn towards a sim-style of play. SimCity to SimEarth to The Sims all reproduce aspects of society in an easy to understand and easy to control way. My idea for a serious game would be a simulation of community arts.

The player could begin the game with a small theater, art gallery, or music hall. They would need to properly manage this business in order to expand the size of the space, as well as add community outreach programs like classes, summer camps, and scholarship programs. The player could make money with shows, grant applications and fundraisers. Different things would work best depending on how the community views the player. The more the player has done to revitalize the community, the more support they will receive.

I would want this to be a highly visual game. The space the player controls would grow and change depending on the choices made, as would the community around the space. As the player becomes more successful they could have the option to either opening up new spaces or trying to rebuild one of the other two initial options (if they picked a gallery, later they could purchase the theater or music hall).

It's a shame. The game "A Force More Powerful" has the potential to be a great game but there is simply too much in there. It suffers from the same problems that most educational games have. Namely a poor interface, pages and pages of needless text and little visual payoff.

Let's start with the graphics. The screen is dominated by a cityscape that serves no purpose that I can see. The only interaction options you have with the city is to view the names of certain building and some basic info on them. The navigation Looks purposely analog, as if it's all hand-written. There is also a huge disconnect between the people within the city. The politicians and the police are literally three times the size of the citizens, this strikes me as more of a mistake than having any sort of reference to the power difference betweent he leader and the people.

Now lets look at the interface. Menu upon menu upon menu upon menu. You have to dive through several pages of menus just to get any of your "character" to do anything. Most of these screens are bogged down with way too much needless information about the fictional country you are in, its economy, and its people. Successfully navigating the interface requires you to abandon everything you know about games and think like a designer who stopped playing games in 1976.
I can see how the idea was to show you how non-violent protest is a complex affair, but I really don't need to attempt to bring someone to my side for three months, only to find out that they need an additional three months of training to do anything useful.

Games like this work best when they are pseudo-realistic. Could you imagine how tedious The Sims would be if it forced you to realistically go through every mundane activity required to live? This game needs serious streamlining as well as a complete graphics overhaul. If you are trying to convince a player that nonviolent forms of protest are the way to go, don't make it next to impossible to succeed. Even a serious game needs to be entertaining. Without any entertainment, the game basically become the interactive equivalnt of a soapbox; hard to empathise with and easy to forget.

Some more juicy tidbits for the geeks in our class.
The reviews have been allowed to spill a few more secrets about the upcoming game Hellgate: London. The biggest news? The gameplay is decided by which character type you play.

The Templar class is supposed to play like your typical third-person hand-an-slash. The Blademaster has lower defense but handles multiple blades while the Guardian wears the heaviest armor and carries a sword and shield. The shield is not just for defense as it can be used to stun entire groups of enemies, leaving them ripe for slaughter.

Now I know just about every action game ever has made this claim but this is something different. Just to recap, Hellgate offers six different player types, each with two sub-categories. Up until now all of the gameplay trailers have shown the Templar Class whose sub-categories are the Guardian and the Blademaster. Both are melee characters; one a bit more offensive and the other a bit more of a tank. The other two classes, the Cabalist and the Hunter have had little info released, until now.

The Hunter class. Now this was something I didn't see coming. Again, two sub-classes. The marksman relies on all sorts of distance weapons and has the ability to expose weaknesses in the enemy. The engineer plays like it sounds, gadgets gadgets and more gadgets.

Evidently if you play a Hunter class (Marksman or Engineer) the entire game is played in first-person. That's right, I said it. Templars are third-person a-la Devil May Cry while Hunters are first-person a-la Half Life. So far the reviewers are salivating, saying both play suprisingly well. I can't wait to see the differences in the Cabalist class, but we'll probably have to wait for Halloween for that.

Now I'm going to have to either buy a PC or an XBox360. It's safe to say doing either will allow me to find out what it's like to sleep on the couch for several weeks until my girlfriend forgives me. But with games like this, I might be ok with that.

I was looking up some info on domains for a friend of mine and came across a small article highlighting some unintentionally funny domain names. Just thought I'd share...

Intercapping is often used to clarify a domain name. However, DNS is case-insensitive, and some names may be misinterpreted when converted to lowercase.

For example:
Who Represents, a database of artists and agents, chose whorepresents.com;
a therapists' network thought therapistfinder.com looked good;
and another website operating as of August 2007, is penisland.net a website for Pen Island, a site that claims to be an online pen vendor, but exists primarily as a joke, as it has no products for sale.
Other examples include cummingfirst.com, website of the Cumming First United Church in Cumming, GA and powergenitalia.com, a website for an Italian Power Generator company.
Another is Experts Exchange, the programmers' site, for a long time used expertsexchange.com, but ultimately changed the name to experts-exchange.com.

I would like to start by saying I have enjoyed playing Indigo Prophecy very much. I tells a pretty complex story that reads like a crime drama despite its supernatural overtones. The characters are believable, each possessing a back-story and their own arsenal of hopes, fears, and goals.

As far as the claims of being a groundbreaking new form of storytelling, I have to disagree. It is indeed one of the better stories found in a videogame. It also has multiple endings based on your actions throughout the game. Choices made decide who lives, who dies, and what happens to the world. But can they developers claim that this is a complex branching storyline? The answer is no. The player is frequently given a choice of which character to play as for a time but for the story to progress you have to play as all of them. While the endings and how many main characters are still among the living by the end differ, the overarching story remains the same.

Like I said, this isn't really a bad thing. The story is great, but I doubt it would make me want to play through again just to see if I can experience something slightly different. If you want to tantalize the completionists out there then you need to tempt them with more. Maybe experiencing the game through a new fourth character (the bad guy maybe?) or giving the main players goofy abilities or skins (a la Silent Hill). All in all this was a very good game who story and "action sequences" influenced many games we play today. A great game that really only suffered from overzealous marketing.

A friend of mine showed my this. http://www.googlism.com. Just type in your name and see what comes up. Here are a few good ones when I put in my name...

timo is dead
timo is not swayed
timo is an exciting concept
timo is a police dog
timo is spesialized in algorithms and program architechture
timo is a odd
timo is pushing his unique breakbeat
timo is committed to face those difficulties in order to reach those unreached with the gospel of jesus christ
timo is good quality
timo is known for his work with habenero peppers
timo is trying to be a bit too far out
timo is one of my favorites now he rules
timo is the amount of control that it gives you
timo is a former national and international rugby player
timo is the double bass power house behind the finnish ensemble
timo is a sea captain
timo is based in the helsinki office
timo is owned by kennel woodshine
timo is willing to play a solo gig anywhere in the uk for the fee of £111
timo is soft and flexy with big sweet spot and head heavy power missing in some soft composites
timo is high
timo is just a mix of everything you could ever really want from dance music
timo is no overnight success
timo is a cool and unique nickname
timo is completely unlike anyththing or anyone else i've ever heard
timo is a young boy looking for a chance to prove his fishing skills
timo is the first to stress
timo is extremely sensitive and emotional
timo is living in lappeenranta and his twin brother tuomo in helsinki
timo is all happy
timo is a burly
timo is better with heavy and slower songs
timo is now champ
timo is a 1997 puerto rican champ
timo is the chairman of the hong kong finnish business council
timo is the guy to see when you think that dance muzik is getting a bit mundane
timo is one of the world's best
timo is behind the wheel
timo is seen going from a to b in the trees